Live from the Ass Embly it's ATI. Activist Tines, Inverted. Issue 193 (PAWN) DC - Congress passes "patients bill of rights without rights." In an unprecedented move in the bowels of Congress, patients now have the right to demand healthcare, while at the same time carriers have the right to deny them. "Dude," said Albert AMA Azchthole, "How cool is that???" >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< <> ATI. Activist Times, Inc. <> >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< <> ever wonder what happened <> >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< <> to TAP/YIPL??? <> >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Hello, I'm Prime Anarchist and this is my rant for a New Moon, October, 1999. I want a job folding jeans just right so every crease is perfect and the price tag is sticking out where you can see it. I'd like rock-star headphones with a microphone so someone from afar watching me on video can walk me through it right down to my posture and presence or perhaps get a quick price check at the same time. Hmmm. I know. There's a brand new Old Navy opened up in my town. Maybe I'll drop off a resume. You think they'll start me at more than 8/hr? Do William Rhenquist and Dick Cheney look like "seperated at birth" or what? Speaking of which - what middle-aged white male will YOU vote for NEXT year. Anyone remember those records "Mr. President?" 45's they were...about the end of the Nixon admin. Ford and Carter too I think. You know, a question asked by a voiceover guy, and each reply is a pop song that just seemed to fit well, or at least it was funny and/or entertaining. Well, here's a short spinoff. Call it "Mr. Bill and His Police Bills." "Mr. President, how will you respond to Columbine?" "Well, I signed some legislation just this week what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities." "Mr. President, how will you respond to the Texas massacre?" "Well, I signed some legislation just this week what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities." "...how would you respond to the recent shootings in Georgia?" "Well, I signed some legislation just this week what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities." We bring you now to Clinton's first inaugauration. "Well, I signed some legislation just this week what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities." And now a word from his second inaug... "Well, I signed some legislation just this week what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities." "Good morning Mr. Clinton. How do you feel today? Going to go for a jog?" "Well, I signed some legislation just..." -)(- Did you see the Gibson SG bathroom tile one of the Columbine high school students painted? I was watching Unavision's DESPIERTA AMERICA, and they were showing the tiles. Basically they're letting each kid express... you know, for self esteem, spirit rebuilding, catharsis and reprogramming. You want my take? Anything to keep from losing one more student to parents' district-hopping. You think the administration gives a flying fruit-fly about self esteem? Spirit? Bah, can you say state-money-per-student? A large chunk of change, peeps. Addicts, all of them. Addicted to 32 students per classroom. If admin thought teachers (pronounced slave units) would tolerate 33, 34, or 45 students per class, dontcha think, you betcha! they'd sign off on cloning 10 year olds right now. Paula Jones has the stupidest looking nose I've ever seen situated on a face. Do you think the MD, (pronounced artist) is incompetent, or just a no-talent bum? DO SOMETHING I'm shooting myself in the foot a bit here, because I'll be there in nine or 10 years too, right? But list your 10 favorite columnists out there. Be honest now. Go with your first 10 thoughts. Now, how many are white, middle-aged males? Half? More than half? Almost all? I've got to thank Dick Bennett for that one. Your NY Post article this morning. It (you) helped me notice something. & SPEAKING OF WHICH You may wonder why my weakly columns seldom ever resemble... \seldom : resemble\ \posthaste : toothpaste\ \never mind\ \go back to your normal programming\ ...the traditional United Statesian newspaper column. Well, I'll tell you. I don't WANT to fit reprintable in any paper. I don't want to have a portfolio full of perfectly prepared pieces, any of which could be interchanged in any paper in any province. If structure is everything, then I guess I'm nothing aren't I, because structure means little or nothing to me. I'm a columnist sure, I'm a publisher and an editor, but I'm like hardly any you've seen before. AND WHY IS THAT? I'm nobody's slave. Structure this! If you're planning to reprint things I've written out there in other places, and I'm aware that many of you do, I don't want it to be because it fits -- or I fit -- or you fit into prior expectations of any kind. I want you to reprint me because you hear my voice and can relate and/or respond. Or perhaps you can't relate and want to hear more before you retort or reply. THAT'S FINE TOO. I don't want to be liked, I want to be heard, and you'll notice - that hasn't changed "a lick" in 12 years. PRIME ANARCHIST'S WEAKLY COLUMN IT'S NON- RELIABILITY CAN BE COUNTED ON... I end this rant with a couple quotes, because academics love quotes. And of course the rest of us have come to adore them as well. "The purpose of a musician is to compliment the music -- not to compete." -Carlos Santana "The tax code is over 40,000 pages long now." -John McCain (A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S) 23 23 69696969 Prime Anarchist Productions Presents the ATI #'s run. 23 23 69696969 http://www.cco.org http://www.JimLord.to http://www.google.com http://www.treatyland.com http://come.to/commonsense http://www.byblos-arte.net http://www.essentialmedia.com http://www.bluewormrecords.com http://morehouse.org/hin/new.htm http://www.theslot.com/contents.html http://www.home.aone.net.au/firebrace http://www.gmpublishing.com/links.html http://www.venkiller.org/brainx/files.htm http://www.vanhackez.com/h/guirizines.html http://www.locus.cz/hacker-crackdown/2.html http://cust2.iamerica.net/blanc1/new/hack.htm http://www.upsu.plym.ac.uk/~madman/newhack.htm http://www.users.uswest.net/~jbauer/internet.html http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/7996/links2.html http://www.ati.es/novatica/glosario/glosario_internet.txt http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/seeker1/scholarly/cudisc.html http://www.go2net.com/internet/useless/useless/auto-refresh.html http://www.laluzdejesus.com/graphics/norbert_cox-apocalyptic_visual_parables (A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S) ...& U know we get letters... So how do you deal with violence? Run from it? Ignore it? Enlighten me on how to remove corrupt officials from office without violence. One of the key points of the Manifesto is that refusing to accept violence as a legitimate option ignores the example of our founding fathers. Corrupt officials do not die and go away. They breed and contaminate. DrugWar -=()=- to ati@etext.org Hello there! I was reading the comments concerning THE CELESTINE PROPHECY on Amazon.com. Everybody seems to have a different take on that book. I saw, however, that you appear to have an appreciation for psychological stories, so I thought I would write to you for help. My name is Robert Clark Young and I am a first-time novelist. My novel, ONE OF THE GUYS, is a satire taking place on a US Navy ship under way to Southeast Asia. While it is difficult to get attention for a literary novel these days, I know there is an audience out there for ONE OF THE GUYS--people with a sensibility such as yours, perhaps, who might get a lot out of it. So if you have a chance, I'd be very grateful if you gave ONE OF THE GUYS a try... I hope I haven't taken up too much of your time. And if there are any contemporary literary novels you'd like to recommend to me, please do so! My very best to you, Robert Clark Young P.S. Should you know of someone who might enjoy ONE OF THE GUYS, could you please pass this message on to him or her? Thanks! -=()=- LOL!!! Isn't that the truth!!! anon. -=()=- > sorry for the complete newbie question, > but I have to ask... > what is fn0rd? I'm not fnord sure. Or maybe I'm just not allowed to tell you. Maybe it's a secret action word that, when read by a post-bot, initiates a scan-and-deploy sequence. Maybe it's a government agent code word that identifies me to fellow agents. Maybe it's a conspiracy by the Illuminati and the Grays to overthrow the government and replace our SENATORS with CHEESEBURGERS! Hold the MIND-CONTROL SAUCE!@ (It's less fun if everyone knows what it means... but I hope you can deduce from context by now...) ajax -=()=- Dearest Marco, A gift from me. Copy and paste this text into a file and make it your email signature! Best, A. *****WHY ARE YOU BUYING YOUR FOOD FROM A TOBACCO COMPANY?********* ***Kraft cheese and food products, Sanka, Post cereals, Minute**** *Rice Shake n'Bake, Miller Beer and Cool Whip are all made by***** *****Philip Morris - a name synonymous with Marlboro cigarettes -* ***by buying these products, your grocery dollars are supporting** ****a company that kills. Get informed. Take back your culture!*** *****http://www.adbusters.org************************************* -=()=- to ati@etext.org Now you can have a delicious falafel meal delivered right to your door. Our complete falafel package is great for your family and friends. Call 1888921PITA or hit our site at: http://www.pitacuisine.com -=()=- to ati@etext.org SORRY IF THIS AD HAS OFFENDED YOU IN ANYWAY. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE AD PLEASE NO FLAMES, JUST DELETE, YOU TAKE MORE TIME TO COMPLAIN THEN TO JUST DELETE. Now to explain how the whole process works. First of all, you tell us how many e-mail addresses you would like us to send your advertisement to--you may either e-mail, fax, or snail-mail a hard copy of your ad to us. We will then place your ad in our database so it will be ready to be sent out anytime thereafter. Say for instance you wanted 1-million e-mails sent--once we receive your payment it will take about 3-4 days to be completed, unless you desire a more lengthy time frame, or need it done faster. Right about now you might be wondering why you should choose us above the... -=()=- Hello Marco, Nice to hear from you. All is well. Enjoyed your music this morning with my coffee. Looks like you're having fun. As James Taylor said "The secret of life is to enjoy the passage of time." Isn't that what it's all about? Larry -=()=- hi marco how the heck are you.. sorry take so long to write. am backlogged like crazy.. when u visiting l.a.? ml, larry -=()=- to ati@etext.org I applaud you. My company doesn't but I do. I wanted you to know this. zd@zd.net (A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S) CONSPICIONIST THEORY OF THE WEAK Here in the US we get two stories a day. No more, no less. London trains collide, South Korea drops a little heavy water around, poisoning 12, then 22 then 30 people. Couple days ago it was Mexico's southern neighbor Oaxaxa has a gigantic earthquake and Japan almost has a meltdown or chain reaction. Are we going to get one story from each hemisphere - and almost 180 degrees apart for the rest of our milleniums? & SPEAKING OF CONSPICIONISMS D'ya think John John's plain going down could have been a HAARP campaign gone awry? Ooh, aw, wry, very wry... Tipper Gore: the final frontier by Adam Reinardy Prime Anarchist World News Correspondent (D.C.) Tipper Gore's Super Secret Censorship Taskforce (SSCT) [say THAT five times fast] has advanced its campaign into nonsecular territory. While shopping in a Christian music store Mrs. Gore heard a disturbing noise: "My God's da bomb! Your God smells You mess with my God You gonna end up in HELL! Sucka!" Questions raced through her head: "Am I still in a Christian store?", "Haven't I already censored everything?", and "What exactly is Christian gansta rap?" The answers she came up with were: yes, apparently not, and God knows. Although the third question would have bothered this reporter the most, we all know Tipper is no ordinary human. She immediately went to work on question two, whipping out her cellphone and calling the members of SSCT. Within minutes, all of comtemporary Christian music was under Tipper's thumb and the worlds minors were once again safe from naughy words like "hell." ANARCHIST INVENTS FIRST SPEECH SYNTHESIZED BARFING NOISE (PAWN) Humana, Wisc. - The team of Anarchist, Broadcaster and Associates discovered something completely vulgar yesterday. "In plain english, what we did," Said Prime Anarchist, "was to make two wav files. One was of DO YOU FEEL YOU LIKE WE DO by Peter "Cool Hair" Crampton, and we layered it on top of Cheer's brand new DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DRUGS. We lined up the two most high tech parts of each song and spliced them together for analog mixdown using a cracked demo copy of CoolEdit, and we listened with a used computer that had a winamp loaded in and voila!" said Anarchist. "A perfect puking noise." Anarchist went on to say the only way he could describe the sound in words was to bring up the image of a chicken with a string full of meat on it down his throat when you push and pull on the cord ever so slightly each time to get a "gahwhk" sound out of the bird. That gagging noise is the sound of Cheer and Peter Crampton paying for perms and peroxide at the Hair Palace, according to Anarchist. Anarchist asked us to end this article with the phollowing rhetorical: Do you be li~ee~ee~~ee~ve in technology like I do? %$#%IS#%IT$#%#$SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO REVIEW A NEWSPAPER AS IF IT WERE A RECORD ALBUM? %#$#$#%#$#$ OK, I'LL DO IT ANYHOW. %#$#by%#$#%Happy Harry Hackon#%$%%$%$##%#$#%#$#% I bought a NYTimes sunday morning. My first time in 17 weeks. Ran me $4. What I got of value were two things. L0pht article in the magazine, and a piece by David Byrne about world music in the A&E section. Everything else, if I can write most candidly, I can get for free all over the internet, on the side of the road, in my television, in the backs of year-old magazines in lobbies while awaiting appointments. You know the things. 18 and 19 year old women gussied up to look like they might be, I don't know, 14 or 15? Lies about products disguised as entertaining footage, sex and violence, sex and violence, violence and sex, and sex and violence. Oh, and some sex and a little bit of violence now and then. Thank you New York Times. You gave me my $3 worth. Only problem is you charged me four bucks for it. (A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S) We end with a short non-poem written by Marco Capelli on the spot. You know Marco, he's like Mac Davis without the curls. This week, You get - Little or no poems; So shut up and go home. Well, that's about it for ATI issue one-eighty-thirteen. Send all the money to ati@etext.org The Zine's semi-official website is at: http://www.thepentagon.com/primeanarchist http://marco.franklins.net for all things reconsidered. Oh, and if you've got sense, you'll dial 1-860-887-2600 ext. 5293