POSITION AVAILABLE IMBECILE An entry level position exists for a complete and total blithering idiot who possesses a demonstrable ability to tolerate the ravages of several other complete and total blithering idiots and can apply a definite lack of interest combined with a certain social numbness and indifference to an otherwise intolerable situation, entirely for the purpose of assuring the personal object of job securety. The position would also require the qualified imbecile to participate in other absurd, incredulous and inept activities solely for the purpose of screwing over other fellow imbeciles. Such activities are required to stem from a self-centered mindless paranoia that others may appear just a tad better in any of several thousand different and equally petty ways, many of which lie far below being of any significance whatsoever. The ability to forget all of the atrocities committed on any one day, while being wholly capable of starting out on the wrong foot at the beginning of each new day is a definite plus. Wages shall be entirely disproportionate with knowledge, skill, rationality, consciousness, reason or anything else even remotely resembling intelligence. LTOEOE (Less Than Our Equal, Opportunity Employer) Candidates must possess a magnified limbic disorder and as nearly as possible, a totally atrophied neo-cortex. We know you're out there! So do it! Apply today! It's in your genes!