Happy Birthday M. Karamchand Gandhi. Thank you, thank you thank you. ]MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[ Wednesday. 03oct01 Breaking news! No way. You're not going to believe this. A couple of planes slammed into the World Trade Center twin towers and within a couple hours both of them went straight down into a pile of rubble looking almost like there never was anything there before. No, really. I just realized it. Feels like it just happened a minute or two ago. Or an hour maybe, but a day? Three weeks? Wow. Three full weeks later it finally "hits" me. The numbness wears off, while I'm reading page 2 of Last week's Onion Newspaper out of Madison. ]MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[ [WARNING][Possible Copyleft Violation] Arab-American Third-Grader Returns From Recess Crying, Saying He Didn't Kill Anyone ROYAL OAK, MI - Eddie Bahri, 8, a Lincoln Elementary School third-grader of Iraqi descent, tearfully denied accusations during morning recess Tuesday that he was a terrorist who killed a bunch of people. "I did not kill anybody," Bahri told classmate Douglas Allenby. "And my dad didn't, either, okay?" Also implicated in the Sept. 11 attacks was 9-year-old Rajesh Soonachian, a Lincoln Elementary fourth-grader of Indian descent. [/WARNING] ]/MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[ I remember that feeling vividly from my gradeschool years. 5th or 6th grade to be specific. My catholic next door neighbors (two brothers) used to hold me down on the ground and bloody my face really badly each day after school telling me I killed Christ because I'm half jewish. Yes, 30-40 times in a row. 5 days a week. Until the older one beat his dad nearly to death one day and ran away. "Where's your brother?" I asked on the way home from school that next day, my first in a long time not going home to wash blood away. "He ran away," he told me "stole $300 off my dad and took off on his motor scooter." I just smiled all the way home. I went over and knocked on their door right after dinner. "Is ______ home, Mrs. ___?" "Sure, Markie," she said, "I'll go get hi..." "Don't tell him who I am, Mrs. ___, I want it to be a surprise." The same smile from on the way home on my lips. When he came out onto the porch to look I hid behind a wicker chair until he was just next to the steps almost off the porch already. I punched him really hard in the face about three times. Threw him down about eight stairs and then kicked at him quite a few too many times while telling him not only am I NOT a Christ killer, but nothing can save him OR his brother after what they put me through for a month and a half. They taunted me daily after that until the day their upper enlisted navy dad got relocated, but never fought me again. I saw the one my age about 10 years later, and if I remember right he made either a pass or an advance at me and was moderately respectful when I said no, but he never contacted me again. Did beating the tar out of him solve much? Not really, but it sure did feel good at the time. While that memory was hammering me, I began reading the next Onion story that went: [WARNING] ]MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[ In the wake of the recent national tragedy, President Bush is urging Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, and other singers to resist the urge to record mawkish, insipid all-star tribute ballads. "To America's recording artists, I just want to say, please, there has already been enough suffering," Bush said. "The last thing we need right now is a soaring Barbra Streisand-Brian McKnight duet titled 'One For All.'" Reports that the FBI had confiscated several notebooks and audio tapes from Diane Warren's home could not be confirmed as of press time. ]/MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[ [/WARNING] Diane Warren. Yes. My age. She's already... THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME. FOR THREE WEEKS I ONLY KNEW WE LOST OUR WORLD TRADE CENTER ON 5 OR 6 LEVELS. MAYBE 50 LEVELS EVEN, BUT IT HADN'T SUNK IN FULLY. JUST THEN IT DID. Warren. She's already gotten 110 Top-40 hits. 109 and 110 are both the same song too! Yup. "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith and also by Mark Chestnut. What matters anymore?? Since long before the Pentagone - Trapezoid - Twin - Miscarriages. Long before that. The world had ended long ago. Seriously - it was over years ago. The rest is just follow through. Walking dead. Thriller. Zombies. Michael Jackson is broke, but 2 years ago he took out a loan the size of most countries' national debts. Lita Ford is bitter. She's STILL waiting for R&R to come back to life. Well, ummm. er, hum. Hey, Lita. to quote a song from my teenage years that might even have been Diane Warren's first hit, "Dream on." Elton John is making a comeback too. That's how you know. Paul McCartney's kinda broke too. How did THAT happen? Here's a guy who can spend more per day than Sikorsky, Hasbro and Colt Firearms combined. How is HE broke??? And of course you should've known the world ended last Oct. when Ted Nugent stumped for Bush/Cheney and Jon Bon Jovi stumped for Gore/Leiberman and Patty Smith stumped for Nader/Laduke. I honestly don't know what's dumber, Nugent stumping for anyone, or just plain George "W" Bush himself. Britney Spears just co-wrote five new songs. Like I said, the rest is follow-thru!! I can't wait to get my hands on next week's Billboard so I can find out how many middle-aged white men co-wrote each Hitme song? I think Chrissy Aguilar's newest had a whopping 9 people cowriting it. Remember that? How the heck do that many people write a song? Do each people hit one black key and one white key?? I could go long here, but I"m ending this with a very short Lee Greenwood song-rewrite. I'm proud to be an American Where at least I know I'm free And no matter what may happen I can pick between coke & pepsi. So there, Rock & Roll died a painful, horrific, gnasing of teeth, popping sound, sulfur smelling death long before VOLUNTEERS 2001 (tm), long before NET AID (tm), way before FARM AID 3 IN 3D. At least as early as when Elvis became an FBI operative, R&R was dying off. The rest is follow through. No, better word choice: the rest is republican (pronounced bi-partisan) politics. And punk? Oh, don't get me started. Next topic? Yeah, it's just starting to sink in. The WTC is dead. Long live the WTC. Pundits who wrote ANYTHING (and that goes for me too!) the last couple three weeks should just pretend they never even wrote it, because any day now it's gonna sink in for them too. Yikes. Take my word for it. Most of you are still numb. Don't say a word. Not even an "I'm sorry," or a "I feel your pain..." Just sit there with the dead body, comfort the living. This is no time for words. Say less. Do even less. Just be there; let silence save the day. We're going to need as much silence as we can get these next few decades. Silence. Ah, Oh, Mmm, "..." Silence. Breath in, breath out. Rinse, repeat. Basically, the Untied States just last month for the first time in our short history have joined the world community. We can no longer say we have no way to relate to the death squads and terrorisms that have been recycling the world over for the past couple millenia. We can no longer say we've never been attacked on our own soil. It just may come to pass that we can no longer salute covering one eye signalling to the rest of the world that we've "never lost in battle." That's still to be seen. For now we're an open salted vinegarred wound with legs and ears. And fists. I'll end this midweek rant with one last TheOnion (tm) reprint. ]MIDWEEK REPRINT[==][CRISIS REPRINT[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[ GOD ANGRILY CLARIFIES 'DON'T KILL' RULE Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday. "Look, I don't know, maybe I haven't made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again," said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin Towers. "Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don't. And to be honest, I'm really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand." [ GET FULL TEXT AT: http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/god_clarifies_dont_kill.html ]   "...I tried to put it in the simplest possible terms for you people, so you'd get it straight, because I thought it was pretty important," said God, called Yahweh and Allah respectively in the Judaic and Muslim traditions. "I guess I figured I'd left no real room for confusion after putting it in a four-word sentence with one-syllable words, on the tablets I gave to Moses. How much more clear can I get?" ...   ...praised the overwhelming majority of His Muslim followers as "wonderful, pious people," calling the perpetrators of the [attacks] rare exceptions.   ..."This whole medieval concept of the jihad, or holy war, had all but vanished from the Muslim world in, like, the 10th century, and with good reason," God said. "There's no such thing as a holy war, only unholy ones. The vast majority of Muslims in this world reject the murderous actions of these radical extremists, just like the vast majority of Christians in America are pissed off over those two bigots on The 700 Club." ...Growing increasingly wrathful, God continued: "Can't you people see? What are you, morons? There are a ton of different religious traditions out there, and different cultures worship Me in different ways. But the basic message is always the same: Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Shintoism... every religious belief system under the sun, they all say you're supposed to love your neighbors, folks! It's not that hard a concept to grasp..." "Why would you think I'd want anything else? Humans don't need religion or God as an excuse to kill each other... The whole point of believing in God is to have a higher standard of behavior. How obvious can you get?" "I'm talking to all of you, here!" continued God, His voice rising to a shout. "Do you hear Me? I don't want you to kill anybody. I'm against it, across the board. How many times do I have to say it? Don't kill each other anymore ever! I'm fucking serious!"   Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept. ]/MIDWEEK REPRINT[==][CRISIS REPRINT[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[ [ref]=[http://www.theonion.com] A very short NUMBERS run, and there's 0 LETTUCE 2day. :) http://www.abattoir.com/~prime8/Orwell/whywrite.html http://www.indymedia.org/front.php3?article_id=69487 http://www.abattoir.com/~prime8/Orwell http://www.themomi.org Alpine, Ash Fork, Bagdad, Bellemont, Black Canyon City, Blue Gap, Bouse, Bullhead City, Bylas, Cameron, Camp Verde, Central, Chambers, Chinle, Chino Valley, Chloride, Cibecue, Cibola, Clay Springs, Claypool, Clifton, Colorado City, Concho, Congress, Cornville, Cottonwood, Crown King, Dateland, Dennehotso, Dewey, Dolan Springs, Duncan, Eagar, Eden, Ehrenberg, Flagstaff, Forest Lakes, Fort Apache, Fort Defiance, Fort Mohave, Fort Thomas, Fredonia, Gadsden, Ganado, Globe, Golden Valley, Grand Canyon, Gray Mountain, Greer, Hackberry, Happy Jack, Hayden, Heber, Holbrook, Hotevilla, Houck, Hualapai, Humboldt, Indian Wells, Iron Springs, Jerome, Joseph City, Kaibito, Kayenta, Keams Canyon, Kingman, Kirkland, Kykotsmovi Village, Lake Havasu City, Lake Montezuma, Lakeside, Leupp, Littlefield, Lukachukai, Lupton, Many Farms, Marble Canyon, Mayer, Mcnary, Meadview, Miami, Mohave Valley, Morenci, Mormon Lake, Munds Park, Nazlini, North Rim, Nutrioso, Oatman, Overgaard, Page, Parker, Parks, Paulden, Payson, Peach Springs, Peridot, Petrified Forest Natl Pk, Pima, Pine, Pinedale, Pinetop, Pinon, Polacca, Poston, Prescott, Prescott Valley, Quartzsite, Red Valley, Rimrock, Rock Point, Roll, Roosevelt, Round Rock, Safford, Saint Johns, Saint Michaels, Salome, San Carlos, San Luis, Sanders, Sawmill, Second Mesa, Sedona, Seligman, Shonto, Show Low, Skull Valley, Snowflake, Solomon, Somerton, Springerville, Sun Valley, Supai, Tacna, Taylor, Teec Nos Pos, Temple Bar Marina, Thatcher, Tonalea, Tonto Basin, Topock, Tsaile, Tuba City, Valentine, Vernon, Wellton, Wenden, White Mountain Lake, Whiteriver, Wikieup, Williams, Willow Beach, Window Rock, Winkelman, Winslow, Woodruff, Yarnell, Young, Yucca, Yuma. http://www.freespeech.org/kokopeli/latuff/violence.html http://www.midiaindependente.org/cmi.pls http://marcocapelli.iuma.com http://www.wbix.org --=={& In Unbreaking Newz}==-- Wednesday October 3, 2:19 AM HAS ANYONE SEEN OUR CROPDUSTER?? WASHINGTON, Oct 2 (PAWN) - A small cropdusting plane owned by the US State Department has gone missing near the Bahamas as it was returning to the United States from Colombia, the department said Tuesday. Last contact with the plane was Monday morning after it left the Turks and Caicos Islands, where it had stopped overnight Sunday for refueling, according to Gas Station attendent Robert "Bob" Roberts. Roberts looked left and right, and then up into the sky shrugging his shoulders and rolling his eyes, just as he said, "you got me." Roberts said it could be anywhere by now, but really wonders where it could have gone. "These things don't just get up and walk away you know..." CATCH PHRASE OF THE WEEK "Twin Towers Terrorism." ATI - No longer abusing puts and calls since 1991 \ .-. .-. \ / \ .-. _ .-. / \ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ \ / \ / `-' `-' \ / \ \ / `-' `-' \ `-' `\ \ `\ uh oh... ) / ' / -={[ TOXIC SLUDGE IS MEDIA FOR YOU ]}=- A very very short review of a Robert McChesney lecture. Milwaukee 28Sep01 "Where's Orwell when we need him most?" "Covers its butt but makes for dreadful journalism." McChesney was great!!! More later. Promise. ===]marco[=== oZoMotli , "Embrace The Chaos" Number 2 on the heatseeker chart its first full week. You go, guys!!! OK, a couple other "notas, muzak" and we'll end this midweek crisis. NAPSTER A poem. by marco Who's selling shares Of stock? IPO!!! Where do we buy?? SONY, EMD, UNI another poem. If U don't Mix down 2 1 of These U will stay Nobody Doubletake. WTF? Lee Greenwood gets "hot shot debut" by hitting #16 of next week's TheHot100. Fine, but one question. How is a 30 year old song a debut??? If anyone's wondering, Clear Channel's President and co-CEO is Rodney Eckerman. Happy Birthday M. Karamchand Gandhi. Thank you, thank you thank you. ]MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[ Happy Birthday M. Karamchand Gandhi. Thank you, thank you thank you.